Updated: Jun 23, 2019
God is real, His love is real, and the sovereignty of His character is real. He is patiently waiting for us to return to the truth of who he is. In the book of Hosea, we see one of the main principles of healing, the spoken truth. He loves us enough to show us our missteps along the way. These reminders work like a GPS. This is one of the most important steps in the healing process. As we allow the Holy Spirit to open our understanding to the issues, that need to be addressed healing can begin. Spoken truths leaves no room for bitterness or unforgiveness, it leaves no room for doubt, shame or hopelessness. Many people remain stagnated in their circumstances, because the light of the truth has never been spoken to them. This was never more real to me than a few months ago, when I found myself in a place of hopelessness. Yes, I am a believer, yes, I know God is able but, I still found myself in a very dark place in my life. If anyone can relate say Amen. I was in a place where the enemy had open rain to my thoughts, and I danced with suicide. It set up shop with me and I entertained suicide as an option. It offered me a distorted taste of peace. The peace of knowing that I could be my own god and not hurt anymore. I would leave behind the pain of just everyday living. I danced with suicide and I invited it in to take up space in my life and mind. It was like a drug that I needed, that would take away all the discomfort that faith did not. Then for me I remembered my commitment, I believe God allowed me a sober moment when the enemy had to leave me alone so I could truly contemplate this decision. I remembered choosing to give my life to the Lord, I remembered where he had already brought me from and the things that He brought me through, and even in this dark place I had a choice to make. My commitment to my Savior means something. Life was hard, things didn’t always turn out fair in my estimation. I remember that I sided with Joshua when he stated “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” That moment of clarity allowed me to see that my life has meaning and purpose according to God’s will, not mine. That God knows the plans He has for me. Sometimes my human nature questions these plans, then I remember my commitment. My commitment is sacred and sovereign. As for suicide it tried to stop back by but, I already had a partner; my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and we were not entertaining any more lies. I let it know that under no circumstance can we ever dance again and the door to suicide remains closed forever.
According to the American Psychological Association (“Suicide rates in the United states have increased substantially over the past two decades”) see article https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/01/numbers
If you are reading this blog and need help or just want to talk to someone call the National Suicide and Prevention Hotline @ 800-273-8255.
Although I am not a counselor or therapist I have experienced the pain of suicide please feel free to comment or email.
The most important thing is to reach out, the truth should always shed light call someone you are loved.