I recently had a conversation with my son, where I acknowledged that I was in a place where I was battling again with hypocrisy in my life. I questioned my Christian walk, and whether I was indeed a believer, do I have faith that God would do what He said He would do. My son said something interesting he said to me, mom, we all feel hypocritical from time to time. I remembered the day I chose to follow Christ, I thought that somehow my life would be easy, but that was not the reality. My life has been filled with a lot of ups and downs. Sadness, a touch of depression, along with great joys and happiness. One significant difference for me was that I knew enough to call on the name of Jesus in all those times. So here is my battle, in the tough times when I do not feel Christ near me, am I less than a Christian? When I write these blogs to help heal my soul and encourage others, is that hypocrisy if I do not feel God's presence? This morning as I write, I am obsessing over the perfection that I think Christian life should bring versus the reality of Christianity. My conclusion is that I am an imperfect child of God. This simple reality allows me the freedom to go to Him and say, Lord, I need you. I can not do this alone. I want you in my life every day, even on the days, I feel like a hypocrite. When I feel like I should have it all together when the reality is many times I miss the ball and fail to ask God for His direction because I am moving full steam ahead on my strength. Lord, please forgive me and help me seek you first, wait for your guidance, and then act. Please help me not to rely on past successes but to allow you to do a new thing in my life daily. Lord, my prayer in this season is Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." I want to encourage anyone out there that may be struggling with your faith against the realities of life. The truth is that faith shows up when we refuse to limit our life based on what we feel or see. It may not always be perfect, but God is perfect and will find a way to use it all for your good. Remember Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." What if we viewed our struggle with faith as part of the Christian life that keeps us connected to Christ. Without these struggles, would we turn to God? That is the real question, isn't it?