What happens with the apology? How did it go? Who was it that you needed to apologize to? Where a few of the questions that arose out of last week’s blog. So, I will start there, the apology was accepted. It was an open door and a turning point in our relationship. Now the real work begins. I will not disclose the name of the person. In a lot of relationships, the behavior of self-protection is a key element, and this element although necessary can also be one of the most destructive. This week I experienced one of the negative aspects of this behavior. I was slapped with my own undesirable reaction triggered by past hurt. When I reacted, the other party went into self-protection mode and shut down. And I was hurt even more by their behavior. Why couldn’t they see I was hurting, why did they walk out? The truth is that when someone else’s behavior threatens to cause hurt we generally will go into self-protection mode. When we retreat to this mode it has several different faces, and it can show up in our individual lives as isolation, blunt statements made without care for the other person’s feelings, creating a story, being the life of the party, selective memory, indecisiveness, promiscuity, addiction, abuse and presenting an active social media profile. Once I recognized the familiar rollercoaster ride, I made a quick decision to disembark. I elected to have a conversation, to rectify the issue. In doing so we avoided the big drop. We were able to come together and face the mess of my past hurt. We then came up with a plan to better navigate through these issues in the future. David put it this way in 2 Samuel 5:8 “ On that day David had said, anyone who conquers the Jebusites will have to use the water shaft to reach those lame and blind who are David’s enemies, that is why they say, The blind and lame will not enter the palace.” There are several nuggets in this passage the one that I would like to apply is, in order to conquer our own Jebusites, we must go through our own water shaft, and it is a messy process. When we allow our savior to lead the way as it states in Isaiah 42:6 “ I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths, I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Let me end this by saying thank you, Lord, for your grace and mercy.
For those of you that know me, there is one consistent pattern of behavior that I display, and this is my compassion for others. Each one of us really desires to be accepted for who we are at our core especially in our most vulnerable state. My goal with my blogs is to help aid in this endeavor.
Please comment, let’s talk….