Without truth, real change is impossible, Jesus put it this way in John 14:6, "Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." Sometimes the way seems uncertain or even cloudy, when my best friend died, I experienced some fog and uncertainty in my life. I was resolved to be content that I would never find another friend as I had with her again. Although I missed our friendship, I consoled myself with platitudes like I had a good friend I should be grateful and not expect this a second time around. And that one was enough, so I closed myself off to the possibility that true friendship was feasible. Of course, I had the occasional associate, but I did not allow anyone to get close to me. To my surprise, God allowed me to experience a friendship that I thought was never going to happen, and I started the process of opening. Wow, I thought the foundations were based on our collective spiritual beliefs, and share struggles. I began to come out of my shell. Then in the blink of an eye, it was over, and I was back to hurt again. And just like that, my internal rival returned, and she had a lot to say like I bet you will not make that mistake again, you had one that is enough. I started to shut down again, and my old friend pity moved in, and we started to party regularly.
I wonder how many people recognize that isolation and loneliness are among the preferred methods of the enemy. However, the Holy Spirit led me to a scripture that changed my outlook it is Mathew 26: 47-50 (please pay close attention to verse 50) it reads "While he was still speaking, Judas, one of the twelve arrived. With him was a large crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priest and the elders of the people. Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: The One I kiss is the man arrest him. Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, Greetings, Rabbi! And kissed Him; Jesus replied, do what you came for, friend. Then the men stepped forward, seized Jesus, and arrested Him."
I knew what God expected of me, and I was not happy. However, I was reluctantly obedient. A few days later, when I was strong and courageous, I went to my friend, not a former friend, and apologized for my behavior toward her out of a place of hurt and anger. Honestly, I did not feel anything lift off my shoulders as I have experienced in the past, and I did not even feel better immediately. I was still hurt and felt betrayed by her. I did what I needed to do from a place of obedience to my Father. My words were possibly void of human sincerity but filled with the love of God. I walked away, feeling like why did I have to be the bigger person, why? No, God did not tell me anything brilliant. I did not feel overwhelmingly spiritual; I felt like I just wanted my friend back. I knew that was not God's plan, because the friendship did not resume or even go to another place it just ended, and we were back to being acquaintances that could exist in the same room. Years later, God brought that person back into my life, and it is different now but enjoyable at the same time. The hurt is no longer there, I still feel a bit of loss for what could have been, but I am so grateful for what is. I walked ou the process of forgiveness through my obedience, and I have recognized the healing of Christ. I also realized that I did have true friendships, they were in the wings the entire time. I was just blinded by hurt, anger, and pity. So, I had taken them for granted because I did not allow the mercy of Christ to bring me real healing until I understood the truth. Today I know and understand that people are a gift from God. We will all make mistakes, but real friends do not just walk away they stand in the hurt. And allow Christ to heal the mistakes so they can get back to a position of standing by your side even when they do not understand. To my real friends, I love you all, and may God continue to bless us with each other flaws and all.
Please join me in the upcoming (Love Inspired Truth Coaching Group, where we will explore Friendships from a biblical standpoint) send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.