With any relationship there are connections, with Christ this connection started even before we were born. He made a way for us to connect to Him that was clear and precise. Now if only all our connections worked that way. In John 14:6 Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” I have grown up or shall I dare say matured enough now to understand that relationship connections matter. How we treat each other matters and it can a have ripple effects on all our relationships. This principle became clear to me when one of the students in my Sunday school class; excitingly exclaimed that he had deleted a few people from his phone, that did not add value to his life, this was his new year resolution. How Interesting that a high school student, was so in touch with who he was. And the importance of the connections in his life that he made such a profound move. Fast forward several years later, as I was going through a period in my life that was very dark. I held my phone in my hand and could not think of one person in that phone, that I trusted enough to call. I did get through that period. One of the lessons I learned, is that true relationships and connections take intentionality. I looked at all these contacts and came to a rationalization that I need to make some changes. If I wanted to have true connections it would require me to first identify what I wanted out of my relationships and then define it. I started this journey by evaluating my connections objectively, understanding that both parties should be at least heading in the same general direction or at least have a willing spirit. To have a real relationship in spite of their differences. I started to observe my interactions, paid attention to what made me feel safe, and what did not, if I could trust you to hold, my pain without sharing it. Or was our relationship, only me sharing while the other party would take the information to use against me. To judge my faults and flaws instead of challenging me to become better. The more I observed and listened, I learned to pay attention to what I needed. The more apparent it became that some relationships needed to be deleted. So, I stopped desiring one-sided unbalance relationships that go nowhere. I no longer want to have half-hearted relationships as a result; I have chosen to seek God and his kingdom to reveal the connections that I should have. Not just the ones I want to have. I am now mature enough to have and to be the Proverb 27:6 friend. It states, “wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” I no longer was willing to tolerate a friend that would not wound me for my betterment, and I was no longer willing to tolerate friends that did not want to be wounded by me to preserver our friendship. So, bring on true friendships with true connections and real vulnerability and accountability.
Ø Pay attention to people that prefer to judge or blame without grace or mercy.
Ø Pay attention to people that complain, gossip and never take responsibility.
Ø Look for friends that are willing to try to understand even if the issue is something, they can’t relate to
Ø People that will allow you to explain your thoughts and feeling and accept them without judgment
Ø People that are willing to make changes to maintain your friendship
** Most importantly make sure we are checking our owe behaviors as well**
And if one of your friends brings something to your attention be willing to change, with help from the Holy Spirit
Please comment let’s have a conversation….