This week a question of emotional connectivity arose from an interesting place. I started feeling a disconnect from someone that was obviously closer to me than I was prepared to admit. And now, I had to process what I was feeling. I have some amazing people in my life, but I only give them limited, guarded access. They can come this far and no farther. This week, I noticed that some of the barriers had weak spots because I started to feel the tension between a friend I could not explain. So, I immediately turned to my old way of handling things and started with a story. This is exactly why I do not let people in. Then I started to compare this friendship with a previous friendship that I have placed on a pedestal. Let me start this part by saying I love the way God loves and teaches me. I woke up at 3:00 am, wrestling with my emotions and the stories that I created in my mind. I decided that I was no longer comfortable living with my stories, so I picked up the Bible and read the truth. The Holy Spirit entered the room with an example of how the spirit of division works. We all must grow and change. Doing so in a safe and loving arena closes the door to the spirit of division. Growth and change can build lasting relationships, or growth opportunities can create division. We all will grow and change in different seasons. Sometimes growth periods present a certain level of discomfort. Because we do not understand the changes, or we are unable to accept the changes. In these moments, we find ourselves at a crossroad, considering two options do we stand in the discomfort of these relationships, or do we allow the spirit of division to win. It is in these moments that resilience is built. Genesis 32: 22-32 states, "That night Jacob got up and took his wives his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So, Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, let me go, for it is daybreak. But Jacob replied I would not let you go unless you bless me. The man asked him, what is your name? Jacob, he answered. Then the man said, your name will no longer be Jacob but Israel because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome," I am not a Bible scholar. I do not claim to be one. I am simply a follower of Christ trying to live out the principles of God every day. I want to encourage you today, if you are struggling with emotional connections, to consider wrestling through these moments with God. Stay in his word and allow today's blog to serve as a reminder to help you understand that God is in the business of connections. Remember the words in Romans 5:8, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." If you are willing to turn it over to Him and not always walk away. He will guide your steps and ensure that your connections are fruitful. At the same time, pruning the ones that no longer provide fruit in your life.
God loves you, and so do I.