Updated: Feb 28
This week I was confronted with a character flaw that I thought I was successfully delivered from; I was hit right in the face with an old state of being. It came for a visit and I had a decision to make. Do I invite it in and allow it to stay and take me back to a place that I thought I had long forgotten, or do I hold on to the fact that I am now a new creation according to the word of God? I am happy to report although I started down the old road, I decided not to revisit my old state of being. I was delivered and I know longer will accept another person’s viewpoint as my personal reality, thank God for a change, Hallelujah. You see, for most of my life I have been a (People Pleaser), I just didn’t know it. Let me give you my definition of people-pleasing. It is as follows: when you allow, other people to speak their truth into your life, and their truth now dictates your actions and serve as your god. Even when you know that what you are doing or saying is contrary to what you personally believe. However, you operate in this way just to keep these people in your life. To make them happy i.e. your family, friends, colleagues, etc. It doesn’t matter if they are good or bad for you, the only thing that matters is what you feel in the natural. Or shall I say what they feel in the natural? Your mind is now made up that the presence of these people will make you happy period. What a rude awakening, when God revealed to me that I was battling with this. The revelation came at the beginning of my separation from my ex-husband while I was still in it’s all my fault stage for not being enough. God spoke to me with these words from Isaiah 51 verses 22-23 “ This is what your Sovereign Lord says, your God, who defends his people: “See, I have taken out of your hand the cup that made you stagger; from that cup, the goblet of my wrath, you will never drink again. I will put it into the hands of your tormentors, who said to you. Fall prostrate that we may walk on you. And you made your back like the ground, like a street to be walked on.” Let me stop right here and say to the critics that I had never even read this verse of scripture until the Holy Spirit guided me to it. Once I received this word from God, I automatically started blaming myself. Because as a people pleaser it’s always my fault for not making others happy. I was the cup that made my husband stagger and I was removed from him. I was in a bad way. It was later when I had the courage to share the scripture with someone a strong believer, and some time had passed where I was staying in the word and praying. I then began a stage in this broken place that would lead to the understanding and wisdom of knowing who I am in Christ. I now understood that when God closes a door no man, no amount of desire or want can open it. As I elected to take my life and it put in Christ's hand's things began to change. People began their exit from my life for two reasons I no longer had the willingness to cater to their every whim, and because God had taken his rightful place in my life, the center. I realized that allowing other people to be my god and allowing their wants and desires to dictate my actions was an offense to God that resulted in instability. To others, the world I appeared to be normal. I was brilliant at work I excelled in my field. The pressure of people-pleasing had slowly and methodically chipped away at the amazing person God created me to be. My former corrupt way of thinking made me an easy target for the enemy. It showed up in the way I treated others when they offended me, it showed up when I could not seem to please others, it showed up by my shutting the world out because I had to cry and come up with pleasing strategies. I no longer need to isolate myself from others because I am hurt, I now go to God with all my hurts, pain, and shame. He has graciously surrounded me with a community of believers to help along the way. So how did you do it, This is the question that many people ask. It’s not a secret it is very commonplace as a matter of fact. Let’s start, by opening our minds to the possibility of the life-changing thought that God is real. Because if you just accept that God is real then the next step of getting to know Him is possible.